Am i complicated ???

Human nature is unpredictable, confused… or is it only mine?? I really wonder at my complex-perplex nature. I keep whining about something every time and when I get the things done, I find myself dissatisfied. What do I really want? Do I fall under the complicated category? Well … Maybe yes! My friends do have a hard time understanding my so called complex-perplex nature. Hats off to their patience! (Applaud…)

Life keeps you wandering from one place to another, yet we have no complaints at it. Sometimes we get annoyed, pissed at it, blaming everything on our fate, destiny! When we do not get the results we want, we never blame ourselves for the cause, and we pass on the blame to fate and destiny. Few months back life was turmoil. My project delivery was called off without any prior notice. Since October I was on Resource Pool, a pool where resources are dumped to get staffed. The head count of resource pool was increasing at an alarming rate. The staffing team staffs resources anywhere they find a vacancy; they can hire you for a job of a cleaner even though you can develop a code of thousand lines. I was cursing myself for being there. I wanted to work, hated to see people yawning in my cubicle with no work. I kept praying religiously for a good offer in my old facility with a neat profile

After rejecting five offers from different project assignments with mismatch profile, risking my job, taking pains in convincing my staffing members, finally I am here into a project with another mismatch profile. Ironically I had no option but to accept it… Hey hold on.. I was never opinionated about my interest in this profile … Sigh! :( :( :(

My muscles, brain, bones were idle for four months… It is really painful for me to clean my rusted brain and bones. Now I can say that ‘ I miss my bench period’…It was a golden period where I spent barely five hours at office, completed my beauty sleep peacefully, boarding the backup shuttle to office, returning home in the intershuttle facility… oh how much I miss those days … :(

This facility at the outer ring road looks bright from the outer side. Owing to the space constraint, employees are placed closely to each other… enough to make you feel suffocated. I can definitely say ‘ I hate this place’.

My first encounter with my lead was fantastic which will be in my minds till my tenure here or may be till my death. A man in his late forties with a tone heavy enough to make your goose flesh stand on their ends. His attitude, behavioral aspects reminded me of ‘Virus’ from the latest flick, 3 Idiots. He kept querying me on technical side and none of my answers seemed to please him. ‘Surrender’, I thought myself and he kept firing at me endlessly. I left the room mentally injured. I met my manger who seemed to be a nice, young man in his mid thirties. He made me understand the profile and somehow I was convinced… I don’t know it was his words, convincing nature or his charming personality that made me convinced in fifteen minutes of discussion. :) :) :)

This is what I yearned for the last four months. Now I have work, I have work station, team, manager, leads and lots to be added to this list… What is the thing that keeps me upset, yet again? Why I am not satisfied? I don’t understand the facets of my life. I keep pondering whether it happens with everyone or is it just me who has to struggle all the time…. Sigh!!! :( :(

Does anyone have answer to my questions? Can anyone help me out?