Life Musings

Life is unpredictable.

Last weekend I collapsed on my dining table after having my lunch. It was a low BP attack and I couldn't foresee it on my way, it was way too sudden. Luckily I had my parents by my side to take care of me. This is not something new that I had experienced but I had it after a span of 4 years. I was stressed and worried about a lot of things around me.

I was unwell the entire week, had fever, was feeling weak and went through rough phase - mentally and physically.
I was immersed into a deep sea of thoughts that kept troubling me the entire week.
The whole week I have this strange feeling of dying. What if I die in my sleep? I was scared to sleep for not waking up in the morning. What difference will it make to others life if I am gone forever?

Does my presence or absence affect anyone's life?
The answer was straight on my face - NO.

I do not want to be just another RIP message on my Facebook wall. People forget you in 2 days. They will make RIP posts on your wall and post their party pics the next moment. And honestly, it doesn't matter to me. What matters to me is those few people whom I love to the core, does it affect to them? My life will be pointless if this happens ever. I am a nobody without 'my people'.They are my spine and I cannot stand without them.

The only thing that each one can do is to be humble and show gratitude. Gratitude is the only way that we need to practice. It keeps us happy.

My husband checks on me every now and then since last weekend if I'm doing fine. My parents are taking utmost care like they were doing when I was a baby. Every night my mother hugs and plants a kiss on my forehead before I sleep. My buddy spoke to me over a video call for 4 continuous hours last evening with different time zone while it was 4 AM US time just to listen and make me laugh hard. And while I type this, my father hands me a plate of freshly cut apple, avocado and few nuts with a big smile for some extra strength. Why is each one doing their part to make me feel better? I think each blessing counts and nothing works like a heart felt blessing does. I thank God for every single blessing I can count on. I love them so much.

Now does it matter to 'my people' if I'm gone?
The answer is YES.